coldutewarmheart

Today is Functional Neurological Disorder awareness day. This time last year, I don't think I even knew what FND was. How things have changed.. This time last year, I had already had a stammer many months- the only symptom that pointed to FND prior to my health well and truly collapsing due to this disorder in October 2015. This time last year, a family member had recently had their first recognised seizure- the seizure that would lead to their FND diagnosis. FND was creeping into our lives, but little did we know the devastating impact it would have in the months to come. FND has caused some of the most distressing, horrendous symptoms and experiences I have ever been through. Some are so awful that they haunt me and I feel unable to discuss them openly. It's hard to write about all this, so tempting to let this awareness day pass without speaking out, but if I don't create awareness among the people I know, then who will? My journey with FND started innocently enough- fal...

Advanced warning - this post is long ! Fellow fatigued people in particular- you may not want to read all at once! In the past I've shared all my medical battles and worries on here very openly. In the past, things have gone quiet only when I was too ill to write, too busy to, or there was little change so little to share. This time it's been a bit different. My long silence hasn't really been entirely for any of those reasons. The truth is that I needed some time and space to process things and understand things privately. When I received my first chronic illness diagnosis, it was many months before I talked openly about it with anyone; this time I was having to have daily discussions with doctors for months and was having to communicate with lots of different people fairly constantly. I couldn't, and didn't want to, hide my illness in the same way as I did back in 2010, but there were certain elements that I didn't want to share publicly/openly. I wanted the p...